Hi, I’m Brian Kingston, Ian’s son. I’ve been in training to be a coaching Guru at Essential Training under the tutelage of Ian (or “the old fella” as I like to call him) since before I could speak. After a few chats recently, we feel it’s a good idea to get some Essential Training fundamentals out into the world. So here we go!
Topic Numero Uno: “What stories do you tell yourself?”
Are there aspects of your life that you’re not happy with? Will you be fixed once they’re fixed? Who are you comparing yourself to?
2 months ago, I came home after traveling the world for a year. It was great. No worries, just exploring. After a few years working in insurance and tech-sales, I thought that there’s more to life than sitting behind a laptop, no matter how many beanbags and free coffees were in the office. It was my chance to make the most of life.
Recently however, I’ve found myself questioning my decisions to leave. Some friends of mine have bought houses. Some are married. And I’m back living at home. Back with the parents….I know! Very quickly I fell back into the routines I had before I left. “Jesus,” I though, “it feels like I never left.” Everything felt the same. I was comparing myself to everyone, how much money they have and how successful they are. While I was jaunting around Colombia and Peru with my backpack, they were creating ‘real lives’. Did I drop the ball?
Recently I spoke to a friend who’s just bought a house and has gotten engaged. We spoke for a few minutes and quickly realised that he was having the same thoughts when looking at his life. He saw my pictures on social media and thought he’d missed out on his only chance to do a long term trip. Now that he has responsibilities, he thinks he can never do it. But I met tonnes of people traveling, with houses and with children. It’s all possible. But the stories that we tell ourselves can often limit us. They can stop us from doing things, things that are actually very possible, if we could just see it. They can stop us from realising how lucky we are and that we are actually on the path that’s meant for us.
By the end of our call, we were both laughing. We’d both snapped out of it. We’re both lucky, both on our own path and both experiencing life to the beat of our own drums. Yes, we’ll cross milestones at different times in our lives, but don’t we all? Good on us!
What story are you telling yourself that just isn’t true? What story is stopping you from seeing the opportunities around you. What’s holding you back from being present in the life you’re living. What if you change that story? What if you stop comparing yourself to others? What will that unlock in your life?